It’s hard out there for a heroine

Ah, debate…… how I DO enjoy it, but as a woman, I’m inclined to agree with the final statement at the end of this video, that women are afraid to talk. Often times I’ll wait to engage in debate on a topic until I feel I’m properly informed. Maybe it’s just in my personal nature to accept that I don’t know the ins and outs of every particular political situation, and so I default to “no comment”. Maybe it’s because the academic in me wants to wait until I’ve properly consulted source after source before I feel that I’m qualified to make an intelligent and informed opinion…

or maybe it’s something else….

I agree that men are more eager to offer their opinions on just about anything, even if they don’t know much about it, as evidenced by the puppy guy at the end of the video. Are women ignorant? or just afraid to talk? or hey, maybe we just don’t want to be labeled “stupid”.

I don’t feel that there is enough room for women to be “wrong”, or uninformed, and the media is very quick to make examples of stupid women. When women open our mouths to give an opinion we are battling against the opposite sex. Oh hell, I’m feeling feisty, let’s call it the patriarchy! We are already subjected to scrutiny because we are seen first as women, and then as individuals second. Personally, I feel a need to back up everything I say with data, or at least a hell of a lot of passion on the subject at hand, BEFORE I open my mouth. The truth is that often times I don’t feel comfortable opening my mouth without a battery of evidence behind me to support anything from my presidential candidate to how I like my burger.

I wanted to post on this yesterday, so I’m gonna try and tie it in here. McCain was quoted as calling his wife a cunt in front of 3 other individuals back in 1992. The story goes that she was playfully twirling his hair in her fingers and teased him by saying, “Looking a little thin up there, dear.” Now, this is a sensitive issue for a lot of men, but his reaction was not so tit for tat. McCain said “At least I don’t pile on the make-up like a trollop, you cunt.”

OK, maybe she pressed a button that was a bit too sensitive, but his retaliation was to cut where it’s deepest- her genitals, her sexuality. Not only did he reduce her entire essence and individuality to her sex, he also reinforced that he thought her sex was something that she should be ashamed of. Not cool. (Hi Matt! come out and play…..)This is why I and numerous other women AND men think Superbad SUPER-FUCKING-SUCKED for feminism.

It’s a hot button issue for me. Yes, it’s just a word, and I’m giving it power, and Lenny Bruce and bla bla bla, it’s just not being used appropriately. Your Firewire 410 isn’t being a little slut because it isn’t working properly, and your new MacBook Pro is overheating, it’s not being a bitch…these are two sayings I’ve overheard this week, and yeah, my ears perked up.

Wrapping it all up, you know, it’s kind of exhausting being a woman sometimes. Labeling yourself as a feminist means that there is this oppressive need to identify with a certain culture, to like what they like. I wonder to myself, am I betraying the sisterhood by wearing a miracle bra? Hell no, I just want my tits to look good in my new dress, but do I want my tits to look good for me, or for someone else? What would Gloria Steinem do?? The constant need to defend my shampoo, why I do/not shave my legs, to wear a bra, to not wear a bra, Hillary, books I’m reading, blogs I indulge in, anything pink, porn, my ice cream choice, my presidential candidate, reproductive rights, sexuality, kinkiness, and how that all relates to being a woman. It’s exhausting! I just want to like what Melly likes, because I like it, and not have it always need to reinforce the image of “woman” that others feel they need to have of me.

An honest question: if there was a woman who was willing to talk on that video, and she compared Bush to Sarah Jessica Parker forced to wear KEDS, “You know I don’t really like them, but….” would the words running through your head sound like ” wow, what a dumb bitch??” Did you have the same type of colorful words for the Darth Vader guy? Because when you look back at the footage, none of the men said anything profound, the women just did a craptastic job at making themselves look like vacuous arm candy. Grrrr.

via Mob Logic TV

Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam [The Pretty Pretty Princess Edition]

Spot the Sexism!!

Girls long to be loved and adored, and give their heart to their hero. God is that hero! The characteristics focused on in this Bible storybook will help your little girl blossom into the princess she was created to be. Virtues to create beauty such as compassion, sharing, and truth are highlighted in fun and engaging ways. The perfect format for girls to learn about their destiny as a daughter of their King. Features included are: Beauty Secrets, Bible Princesses, My Hero (Scripture promises), Take a Bow (Easy plays that are Bible-focused), I Adore You (Put girls energy to use with songs, scripture and worship), Royal Truths, Down In My Heart (Scripture Memory), Princess Charming, Worthy of Love (Ideas to show how to love her royal subjects: family, siblings, friends and those in the community).

Just like God created little girls in a special way, He created little boys to be mighty warriors . . . even when they feel small. Now with this new devotional Bible in storybook format, boys can learn how to be strong, honorable, courageous and true. Selections of Bible text from the International Children’s BibleĀ® are combined with delightful articles to help a budding warrior earn his armor.

Features include:

* The Belt of Truth (Article on values)
* Guard Your Heart (Manners for boys)
* Stand Strong (Sharing the Good News with friends)
* Shield of Faith (How to make right choices)
* Helmet of Salvation (Knowing right from wrong)
* Sword of the Spirit (Scripture memory)
* Mighty Warriors (Bible heroes)
* Adventure Quest (Encouragement for imagination and adventure)

Two books, same content, two completely different marketing schemes. A few questions: Why is the first highlighted item on the Princess Bible “Beauty Secrets”? Why can’t a princess pick up the helmet of salvation, or a sword of the spirit?? and do I HAVE to be a princess? can’t I be a page-girl, or a serf or something??

The boy Bible tells the consumer that it’s ok for boys to be boisterous, that their imaginations and adventure is to be encouraged, but girls need to harness their energy and quiet themselves with scripture memorization – to prepare themselves for a life of submission to God and their future husbands.

The phrase “Daughter of the King” makes me want to vomit. You’ll notice there is not a mention of a prince, oh no, the male equivalent product is labeled a “warrior”, a somewhat scrappy, but self-reliant term.

In fairy-tale criticism, daughters and princesses are usually hidden away in towers (Sleeping Beauty), locked behind castle walls (Jasmine), or in the cases of Cinderella and Snow White, are naively unaware of their beauty and royal blood (aka their instrinsic value) and must be rescued by Prince Charming before they can live happily ever after. (And for those of you who don’t enjoy dissecting myths and fairy tales, towers and castle walls are a metaphor for virginity.) Your intrinsic value has nothing to do with the treasure between your legs, despite what the church and your fathers tell you.
The princess consumer culture has always irked me, but all that pink satin and ribbon is appealing to 9 year old girls, especially when society is telling you that you are a princess, and that you should like princess things. But the little princess market only upholds and perpetuates the stereotype that little girls fantasize about becoming women who need heroes, and that women are somehow incapable of sustaining ourselves without the help of a Prince Charming.

Thursday Hyperlink-tastic Edition

In between my recording for The Little Death, I had an audition today…. for someone I have dreamed of singing for. This is good… This means things are happening, and I’m heading the right direction….. But what to do when you feel you sang your best, and you just might not be what they’re looking for???


Yes, eating your weight in cookies works both for pre and POST audition stress. I highly recommend it. Matt’s also been low on the iron lately, so I’ve been making bacon in the morning, and batches of cheeseburgers at night… In conclusion, I’m a total lard ass. Yay!

But in other seriousness, maybe I should make a new “dream gig” list…. that could be kind of fun, right?

In other news, I made it a point this week to Pimp my Google so to speak. I’m totally sporting a new “homepage theme” – plaid- way springy and chic. I also added labels to my e-mails (and they’re color-coded) and even MORE exciting, I finally got around to filtering all those annoying e-mails from i-tunes and Jet Blue and stuff…apparently that’s called BACN. Anyways, it’s all going into a separate color coded folder bypassing my Inbox. Translation: more time for cookies!

Ok, on to the Melly Meat:

Apparently depressed women tend to have more sex than “happy” women, yay sex for validation!!! Except the data was collected from 107 (really??) women in Australia, and because the top editors of Cosmo are Satan’s concubine, they will use this data to shame their readers into thinking that they don’t really enjoy sex because it feels good, but because they are depressed, and the only way one could possible feel better about oneself is to buy more expensive shit…..

Check out this new vibe that gets all hot and stuff when you get all ummmm hot and stuff….

This French ad kind of makes me want to NOT shave my legs for a month,”Ladies please use” – fuck you French guy. This article completely embodies sexism in the media. Women subject themselves to heinous amounts of torture in the name of beauty to attain some ridiculous idea of pre-pubsescent hairlessness.. that’s all fine if you’re into it, but the average dude on the street isn’t running off to get his balls waxed, he’s just not… So why do we have to accept the natural state of the male (smelly and somewhat hairy) but pretend that we are not hairy, or have ever sweat/farted/shat ever. Equality, bitches.

I usually hate the WaPo, but this article on the F word was actually kind of great.

And speaking of WaPo, Laura Sessions Stepp
is at it again…and as much as I’m real glad she’s “reclaiming” the kitchen, I kind of wish she’d stay in it and shut the hell up…perhaps close her head in the oven while she’s at it.

Also, a great interview via Gizmodo with a guy who created his robot girlfriend/wife?? and hopes to start a new sexuality. It’s kind of amazing…. I also completely disagree with this article…perhaps because I’m a Geek Girl, and my computer is totes my other bf. I remember when Matt got his new ‘puter for Christmas, and there was one day we spent lounging around in bed with three laptops!!! Most relationships wouldn’t be able to bounce back from something like that. We’re strictly monogamous with our notebooks now, but man, we were a couple of crazy kids then!

And finally, for really realz now, there was a time in my life that I thought I wanted to be an academic, so I kind of related to this. I read a paper today forwarded by my friend/musical collaborator David T. Little (who has a kick ass blog post out today via the NYC Opera on his soldier songs – READ)…. anywhoo, this paper read like any normal academic paper… great thesis… lost of bullshit, head drop, snore snore, until I read this:

The essay you have just seen is completely meaningless and was randomly generated by the Postmodernism Generator. To generate another essay, follow this link. If you liked this particular essay and would like to return to it, follow this link for a bookmarkable page.

If you are in need of a good paper, follow this link. Yay for postmodernism!!!!


Let’s Objectify Women in our Advertising…Shall We?

I kind of giggled at the bikini turkey, and thought the ladies at feministing were kind of over-reacting…… I thought the generic sex-less pencil sharpener was funny… until I had a closer look and realized it was a headless woman getting fucked up the ass….and one would need their head to be willing to get fucked up the ass in my opinion. This little beauty is making a poor attempt at poking fun at rape, which just ain’t funny…. but this is fucked up.

Anytime a woman’s body is represented anyway but in its entirety, it’s kind of an open invitation to scrutiny…. and when those representations are based on common misrepresentations and abilities of our sex(i.e. women are sex toys).. then it’s objectification. Kind of plain and simple….

Via Feministing

"you’ll never find a hubby while you’re a chubby"

Where to even start with this one…. I’ll give you the advantage that I didn’t have. Check out the website first here before reading any further, and then read my snark and either agree with me, or bite me. Really….go…get all up in there.

Maybe you laughed, that’s okay, maybe it didn’t phase you, although I’d find that hard to believe. If you’re anything like me, you stared at the computer in utter disgust and confusion.

What’s with all the girl on girl action? yeah, it sells, but it just seems kinda out of place, no? oh wait, there’s one guy tearing off a woman’s panties with his teeth…ok, sign me up…

Ok,just kidding. My issue is not with gyms… although I think if you need someone to kick your ass verbally, mentally, or emotionally to get you to do ANYTHING in life you’re a bit of a masochist, but that’s beside the point. My issue is with the motivation behind joining a gym like this.

Personally, I’m not surprised they’re receiving hate mail… I think what they’re doing sucks. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m kind of uber-sensitive when it comes to advertising, but come on!! Please don’t assume that every woman wants a hubby!!… and even if they wanted one, that should absofuckinglutely NOT be the reason to join a gym, nor should the list of reasons include the desire to have your clothes ripped off by someone’s teeth, or having sex with the lights on, (which scares skinny people too….) no, I think one should lose weight because one wants to, because you want to look good for you, because your health is important to you….. for crying out loud, didn’t we all read She’s come undone already?? It’s just insulting. But I’m not going to say anything because I don’t want to be labeled a bearded lady…… yeah, that whole feminist as hairy-legged, smelly and undersexed man-haters schtick is real tired.

This week in review with Melly

My last post I wrote on a Greyhound bus traveling back from my mid-week adventure with my family….. A lot has happened since then. I had a cold that just wouldn’t go away, a fabulous high profile gig that I had to give away because of that lame-ass cold, the most amazing sushi dinner of my life in which I even consumed raw beef….. yeah, remember a year ago when I was a skinny bitchy vegetarian and had a general rule about avoiding foods for which I felt compassion for?? Well, one year later and I’m dating someone who’s health depends on eating the flesh of other mammals. So, yeah, sushi, concerts, rehearsals, hacking chest cold, throw in a one year anniversary and a full-fledged leap into the microtonal music world and you get an idea of how my week was.

It’s 3 pm, I’m eating cereal and sifting through my Google Reader sitting unshowered in my pj’s…(and ps, Mafoo’s attempting to distract me by singing “He touched Me” in his falsetto….)It feels real good to have a lazy Saturday, but to normalcy I must return, society tells me. Anyways, here’s a few things I starred and had every intention of posting, but was just too drrn busy… I promise to be a little more on top of it this week.

Melly’s WTF moments: Eight teens in Australia rape a 17 year old girl, piss on her, spit on her, light her hair on fire, videotape it, distribute it as ‘C**t the Movie’…. and are sentenced to…..drumroll please…….a rehabilitation program for male adolescents about positive sexuality. Even more fucked up than that would be the cops who were cleared of breaking into a man’s home and tazing the hell out of him.

In feminist news, Times Online told us that the feminist movement has gone way too far by encouraging women to take charge of their own sex lives…. the nerve!!! Ladies, they want you to remember that it’s your wifely duty to have sex, even if you don’t want to… (sounds so Biblical, doesn’t it?) “sex should be seen in the same light as taking out the garbage, or doing the dishes”, hey, it’s all about compromises, right?? And speaking of douchebag men telling women what they think… Michael Smerconish expressed his enthusiasm for the male-friendly term vajayjay….while calling feminists “vajayjay naysayers”, stating that feminists have no interest in attracting men to their vaginas….WHAT?? Aww Mikey, are you really gonna perpetuate the “all feminists are hairy-legged labia-lickers” stereotype??? that’s kinda lame. Ok, I’m not personally going to invite you south of 14th street, but let me set something straight, I have a definite interest in my vajayjay, and despite what you think, most women desire some serious attention down there, so if a warm and fuzzy image is gonna help you and the rest of your ignorant crew out, let me direct your attention to my vulva puppet!!

Halloween Costumes- Occupational Hazzard for Children

Halloween was always really exciting for me as a kid… as I’m sure it is for every child, but growing up Southern Baptist in suburban New Hampshire (insert your chuckle here) meant that going trick-or-treating was somehow rebelling against the church, and in the name of F-U-N, my parents let us do it, as long as we were quiet about it.

Through the years I was a leopard, a Cabbage Patch Kid, an orange Crayola Crayon, and a downhill skier. Growing up in New Hampshire meant that you always wore footy pajamas or long-johns under your costume, as the ground was always frozen by late October, so you’d have to imagine that French Maid number with polar fleece under it and you get the idea.

I haven’t really thought too much about Halloween costumes until last year when I went to Jack’s Halloween Parade at his Elementary School. He was supposed to dress up for the parade, and his Daddy bought him this heinous Woody from Toy Story costume. This thing was so cheap, and Jack at that point had no idea who Woody was… I had made myself a costume out of an old evening gown and a pair of butterfly wings and a fairy wand. (I was a fairy godmother, naturally!) Jack was OBSESSED with these wings and would ask to wear them around the house from time to time.

So I was a little torn as to what the right thing to do was. Society and his Daddy wanted him to wear the cowboy costume, and I just wanted him to be happy. He looked so cute as a little butterfly….but I folded to avoid conflict.

So today in my Google Reader I came across this site for costumes. I’ll provide two links here. The first one is the girl occupation costume site. Now I’m not gonna sit here and say that the skanky-esque costumes for little girls don’t bother me, they do, but what really infuriates me is that in the dozen or so costumes that they offer for girls under the occupational heading, there are five or so “entertainers”, a maid, a nurse, a flirty officer, a waitress, and a Hollywood Starlet???? (I think that’s code for, I dress up nice and go down easy) Of course under the boys occupational costumes are various forms of police officers, a marine, an air-force pilot, SWAT team member, boxer, and NASCAR driver, and of course the obligatory doctor.

Translation: Little girls should grow up to entertain and take care of us, and boys will take care of business, so to speak. Isn’t it time to stop perpetuating these gender stereotypical myths?? Ask any third-grade girl what she wants to be when she grows up and I’m sure it won’t be limited to American Idol contestant, or candy striper…. no, she’ll want to be president, and a teacher, and a doctor.

So, if the kids aren’t buying that crap anymore why the hell are you still selling it?

don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me????

Hi, I have an announcement……..drumroll please…… Feminists make better lovers…..

Well, no shit!! Quel Surprise!!!! A new study published by Rutgers University disproves a theory that some women have tried to debunk since the beginning of time…….Yes, in contrary to the popular stereotype, most feminists are not hairy-legged, birkenstock-wearing, cat-loving, labia-licking, man-haters….nope.

And now for the stats because the academic in me is screaming that I need to cite and source and quantify this data. After polling over 500 American males and females, ranging in age from university undergraduates to older adults with more relationship experience, researchers found that females who identified as feminists were more likely to report greater sexual satisfaction, and healthy long-term relationships than those who did not identify as feminists. Males that reported to having a feminist partner were more likely to describe themselves as being in stable and sexually satisfying relationships……… meow!

huh, kind of makes me feel bad for women like Kelly, or the women working towards their degree in stain removal and chocolate chip cookie baking at the Southern Baptist Seminary…..ok not really…..