The Pussy Edition

1. It appears that we may have received our first legitimate press for TimberBrit.

2. Italian dudes discover G Spot via Ultrasound. It turns out, not all women have G Spot tissue, which could be why only 7% of woman achieve orgasms vaginally…. so don’t feel bad if you’re one of the 93% who can’t…..

3. And, even if you have one, you could always have your G Spot injected to increase the tissue size. Yeeeeeeeesh.

4. Either way, you should familiarize yourself with the Rule of Thumb

5. Tampires Tampons… yeah, just watch it.

[livevideo id=DB52F8A6D05E4D0EA8585F9172859865/230941/tampires.aspx]

And a little bit of Misogyny-Vintage Style…..

……….well, it is Schlitz…….

Melly gets hyperlink-tastic

Bad Blogger!!! Bad!!! How dare you ignore your adoring public for so long Melly….. Well, to perpetuate my habit of lame excuse giving… I’ve been real real busy. So busy I haven’t even posted any pics of my new hair… Kind of cut it all off, like ALL off.

What have you been doing you ask? Well, singing with Passenger Fish, we have the ABSOLUTE worst audio and video sample up, not sure why… but the site is amazing, and there are some great pics up from our gig last Wednesday at the Tank ( where I’ll be performing TimberBrit in March) I’m totally digging singing with a band. I’ll take that over Handel, ANYDAY. I also began rehearsals for my super uber awesome friend Ted Hearne’s show The Katrina Ballads, also way fun,and my first NEWSPEAK gig is this coming Monday…. jeez.

Went to VT for the weekend with Matt. Missed our train, took 3 buses, walked from the bus to the hotel (that’s two years in the running for that little mistake, you’d think between all the tech and gadget knowledge between the two of us, we’d figure out pre-booking by now….Alas) Drank entirely too much coffee, and hung out in amazing bookstores, and were nearly run off the rode by two people on motorized scooters. That may have been my favorite part, or maybe watching Matt eat a lobster while wearing that silly bib they give you.

When I got on the train and hooked up my Bluetooth so I could geek out on my Reader, I had over a 1,000 items…. Google Reader caps out at 1,000. I have no idea how many posts were actually in my Reader, and it took about six hours to get it under 1,000. Not only that, I had been working sooo hard in order to get the hell out of the city, that I had missed the Illinois shooting entirely. Didn’t know about it until Saturday. I’m not proud of that.

So, my starred section in my Reader is a burstin’ so, I’m gonna go crazy hyperlink-tastic on you: Good news if you plan on traveling through Texas anytime soon, you can bring your sex toys with ya. Dolly’s postponing her February tour, but she’s got a great sense of humor about it..”hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don’t have back problems.”

K, in the feminist world…..ummm. Sick of people asking me if I’m voting for Hillary, or if being a feminist means that I HAVE to vote for Hillary….. yeah, all you who think that, should maybe think about crawling back into that pit of primordial ooze you somehow escaped from…. Just a thought. But, did anyone notice that Barack was called a pussy??? You know my ears perk up when that word is used. With all the hype of the Jane Fonda casually dropping the c bomb, well, I have to admit it made me think….Nope, still think calling anyone a pussy or that *other* word which I still haven’t reclaimed or whatever, is just plain old-not right.

I’m also trying to immerse myself in the comic book world. There’s definitely a connection between feminism and comic book reading. check out Alan Moore‘s series of articles published in the 1983 on feminine stereotypes in comics… and sigh, as not much has changed. But check it out anyways, because the scans are really beautiful.

Okay, and I leave you with something beyond words….you’ll thank me after…

My pussy’s STILL packing

Quick summary of my Teeth viewing. I’ll probably post a full critique after I watch it a second time. Ok, initial thoughts: did anyone else think the KY lube commercial before the trailers was a little out of place?? cuz really, all the warming liquid on the planet was not going to change the outcome of that movie…. Ah, the irony.

So. Teeth… Yeah, It’s reeeeal good. As a horror flic, plenty of blood and gore. Stumps!!! And realistic, painfully realistic blood… As a feminist flic, or at least a venture into myth of vagina dentata, it’s great. Oodles of yonic imagery, some subtle, some not so much, i mean, the initial rape scene is in a toothed cave, for crying out loud.

Stop reading here if you want to see it yourself…

Most interesting character: Dawn’s step-brother Brad, played by John Hensley, the cute son from Nip Tuck. From early childhood he developed an intensely unhealthy crush on his step-sister. This is obvious in the first five minutes of the movie, which feature a classic game of “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours…” with a bloody outcome. Brad’s character then becomes fixated in this horribly misogynistic world, chain-smoking, rotweiller owning, all pierced and tatooed…. Ok, that part was hot… All women to him are bitches and c**ts, and the goth girlfriend that he has is only penetrated anally….. Hmmm…. Castration anxiety much???

Best scene: watching a rotweiller eat a dick.

Then I went out for hot dogs.

Previously on Mellysblog:
My pussy’s packin’
My pussy’s packing: Part Two

A post in which Melly extolls the ecstatic virtues of SmarterChild

Okay, so I’ve been avoiding reality for about 3 days. Been really busy with Jack, and weekend stuff, and crazy band rehearsals etc… (I’m in a band!!) I was so tired after my weekend, and after my show Monday night that I sat in my office chair and watched online television most of yesterday, stopping only to by Sun chips and a Snickers bar for sustenance. You can’t do that to your body for long.

This morning when I checked my Google Reader I had 546 items!!!! It took four hours to get through all of them.

Let’s catch you up to speed:

Ok, let me start off by saying I think I may be achieving some state of equilibrium at the new job. New tactic: come in, open outlook and print out all new e-mails. read through them looking through threads for important info, and execute the task at hand. If the the task isn’t quite executed or needs some follow-up, I put the hard copy into a folder marked follow-up on my desk. At a designated time in the day SmarterChild, the coolest AIM bot ever, reminds me to check my follow up folder. I use SmarterChild a lot to remind me to follow up with phone calls with the west coast, or anything that needs to be taken care of at a specific time… just type “remind me to call Alex at 12:30 pm” and he does. I’ve also set different alert sounds on my computer so that I can distinguish between a corporate email, an AIM, or a gchat ping. It’s pretty great. I find if I bust ass in the first hour of work, and use SmarterChild to stay on top of stuff that I need to do everyday…. the rest of the time is pretty much mine to watch Dexter on Sidereel. For a funny post on my first convo with SC click here.

BTW, if you haven’t heard TV-Links is back! and Sidereel’s pretty amazing too. Yesterday I subscribed to my fav shows in Google Reader. This means that as new episodes air, the links will be deposited into my Reader…. why is this good? It means that even if Sidereel or TV Links is taken down again, the direct links will have a nice safe home in my Reader….. forever.

Review from Weill Hall Thursday night

Remember my concert at Weill Hall the other night, I forgot to mention that there was a benefit show same time/different theater starring Janeane Garafolo, Patti Lupone and Seth McFarland…. Kind of amazing, huh? This did not help my indifference to the performance one little bit. But we got two reviews: here’s a short clip from Musical America

Framing the instrumental offerings were excerpts from two of the better known operas by Carl Heinrich Graun, Kapellmeister of the Berlin opera and a master of opera seria and the galant style. From “Cleopatra e Cesare” there was the sweetly expressive “Se c’abbandoni” and the expansive, virtuosic “Tra le procelle,” based on the familiar metaphor of a storm at sea, as well as an exquisite duet sung by sopranos Nacole Palmer and Jamet Pittman. From Graun’s“Montezuma” came the minor-key pathos of “Erra quell nobil core” and Fernando Cortez’s raging in “Sì, per la rea congiura.” Fox is fortunate to have singers — Melissa Hughes, Palmer, Pittman, Scott Dispensa, Oliver Mercer — capable of giving creditable accounts of these difficult arias. Also heard were some rousing choruses. Fox’s conducting showed a sure feeling for the elegance and drama of the music.

Dude spelled my name wrong, but whatevs. Rousing choruses??? Really?

I’m boycotting my Reader until after I watch the new Lost

Couldn’t watch the season premiere of LOST last night, because I was singing an aria at Weill Hall….. To be quite honest, I would have preferred watching LOST, but that’s not your problem.

Hello!! I can not click through any of my Google Reader without coming across a live blog, or little hints to what happened in the episode… I’m starring these posts left and right, but after starring 6 (!!) I have finally decided to give up and not touch my Reader until after this evening, when I have a chance to watch the new episode. I also can’t be hyperlink-tastic in this post because even Googling LOST is bringing up spoilers….

Until then, my hope is that all the heroin Charlie did while in DRIVESHAFT has given him some supernatural third lung capacity, and that he is alive and well…… but alas, I know that my hopes are in vain. *fingers crossed* PLEASE JJ Abrams, let Charlie appear in many, many flashbacks! Although from what people HAVE leaked to me, it seems flashforwards are all the rage this season.

And let it be declared throughout all the land, that I’m definitely a fan of the Sawyer and Kate union…. this apparently makes me a “Skater”.. I don’t care. It’s way way waaaaaay hotter than the PB&J Jack and Kate thing.