Two more reasons to NOT <3 the Huckabee

Political persuasions aside….

1. He totally ate at the Time Square Olive Garden yesterday….. and his first choice was TGI Fridays, home of the fried Mac N Cheese Ball….

2. He’s about to be endorsed by Tim LaHaye, author of the Left Behind series….Those black glossy books with flashy neon titles designed to scare the shit out of people with a high school reading equivalent…My favorite quote from the first one (and I only read the first one) was something along the lines of “Oh Gosh, Ray!” eloquently delivered by Hattie, airline stewardess soon-to-be-Anti-Christ’s concubine in the ensuing pages.

Call me crazy, but if the Apocalypse is upon you, and your ass ain’t going no where because all the saved people are already out of there, why purty up the language?? If there was ever a time to drop an F bomb, I’m thinking it might be when fire and brimstone is singeing your ass. It all went downhill from there for me.

But LaHaye has made a pretty penny turning out this crap, and he’s willing to share it with Mikey. God likes it when we share.

I Heart Huckabee……. well, no, actually, not at all….

Mike Huckabee, of the immigrants are taking jobs away from our unborn fetuses platform, or something completely asinine….. is well known for his incredibly antiquated views on just about everything…. like homosexuality being the demise of civilization and all, MR. I USED TO CAMPAIGN IN GAY BARS….But a little digging has revealed that his stance on HETEROSEXUAL marriage is consistent with the Southern Baptist Convention, which by the way, issued a lovely tutorial on how to avoid involvement in cults and sects, (pot…kettle….kettle…black anyone??) From USA Today:

“I affirm the statement on the family issued by the 1998 Southern Baptist Convention.” What was in the family statement from the SBC? “A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ.”

For those of you who were fortunate enough to escape years of Christian schooling, or the SBC altogether, that statement is a quote from the book of Ephesians, a book written by Paul. It’s a selection of scripture that many progressive seminaries devote entire classes to deconstructing. It is unfortunately still a favorite scripture reading at many weddings, and in fact, yours truly was captured on video rolling her eyes during such a reading at a family wedding.

Unless by submission he means in the wife-spanking sort of way? In which case, Mikey, you’re one kinky twisted fuck! I’m a gonna bake you some cookies!!!

Via Kos