I have ATONED

for my sins…. despite the fact that I am not Jewish.

I have just completed my third High Ho @ Hebrew Tabernacle located at 185th and Fort Washington…Dr. Ruth’s Temple. She was there, I couldn’t see her though because I was sitting in a room about 10 ft wide by 12 feet long, phoning in the Kedusha’s via mic while clad in my usual High Ho wardrobe of jeans, a sweatshirt and studiously engrossed in the current issue of BITCH magazine in between the Kadosh Ata’s and Baruch Schem’s…..

Today was Yom Kippur, the day that makes me question why I do this once a year. I started singing at 9:30 AM, finished at 7:27. Yes, I kept track of the time, as I have the past three years. Jesus Christ….I have about three working brain cells and they’re all screaming at me in harmonic minor… NO MORE!!!!!

I’ll tell you this: High Holidays are a big deal in the Jewish church, so big that they sell tickets to them….and I guess I should count myself lucky to make some ridiculously easy cash for the time being. Decreasing attendance numbers in the temple year after year, and it’s only a matter of time before they cut the choir.

In fact this year I was running late for Rosh Hashana, and as I sprinted toward the door, I was greeted by the president of the congregation holding the door for what I assumed was a late soprano. When I entered the choir crawl space and took my seat next to my mic, I was informed that there weren’t enough people in the congregation for a Torah Service…. we needed a minyan (apparently 11 Jews)… which is kind of funny when one thinks of the phrase Satan and his minions…really just 11 Jews and a Satan they don’t believe in…

And I’m spent……

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One response to “I have ATONED

  1. So this is when I get to say “I knew you back when…” Wow, Mellissa, you sing like an angel, assuming angels are extraordinary flawless sopranos…to give you a hint about who I am, there was a night when I sang as an angel (you know, the angels with deeply flawed am-I-an-alto-and-what-is-an-alto-Steiner-never-mentioned-it-voices)and you were dressed as- okay, no, I can’t say it. Not on your blog. My daughter is 4 now, her name is Melissa… I am headed to law school in fall. Yes, done with Waldorf salads for now. All the love in the world to you. I can’t believe how much you’ve accomplished since I saw you last, and I’m sure I don’t know the half of it.

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