My Vag and I will NOT be makin’ Biscuits anytime soon…

Elroy Riggs, esteemed op-ed writer for the Central Kentucky News Journal has unlocked the mystery of the rising divorce rate…. The Pillsbury Doughboy.

He harkens to a time when good little wifey’s rose early to make homemade biscuits for their husbands…. now the saddest sound in the world is the pop-pop-pop of the perforated can as “apathetic” women allow a plump doughboy to fulfill their wifely duties.

It is time, women of America, to come to your senses. Halt the alarming increase in the divorce rate. Bring the homemade biscuit back to your breakfast table. We can all work together. You make ’em, we’ll eat ’em. What could be more fair? I must insist on taking a hard line on this matter.

Fair? What could be more fair?? Hmmm.. how about Elroy making breakfast more frequently than Mother’s Day? That might be the inklings of the utter beginnings of fair. He then goes on to list several cookbooks he’s found that seem to have decent authentic biscuit recipes, and exclaims how inexpensive and relatively easy and quick they would be to assemble…. Only 12 minutes to bake!!

Who has 12 minutes to bake biscuits every morning? Maybe on Christmas morning, or your birthday if biscuits are your kind of thing, but every morning? Perhaps Elroy should try making them himself, and experience first hand the joys of cooking with yeast, which can be real finicky. My guess, Elroy’s wife (assuming he has one) has some very good reasons for not rising early to make the biscuits…

Growing up, the toaster was my best friend at breakfast time, and my sis and I packed our own lunches as soon as we were old enough (around 9 I think). This was mainly to give my Mom a break because my father to this day *can’t* fix anything for himself, so my she rises early and makes him breakfast, packs his lunch (usually leftovers in tupperware) and makes dinner when she gets home from work. I’ll say that again, when SHE gets home from work.

When I’m home, I cook dinner to make things run smoother for everyone, and because I LOVE cooking in Mom’s kitchen, (my vagina is agreeing with me as I type) but I would have clubbed my father over the head with a griddle a decade ago, and he knows it. He is one of many men out there who are still mystified by the kitchen. Elroy, I’m guessing, like my folks, is of the mindset that women keep the home, even if a large number of those women are also working…It’s just soooo outdated, even if it is somewhat cutesy.

You make ’em, we’ll eat ’em Mr. Riggs???? Dude, you want ’em, you make ’em!! Honestly, what could be more fair than that?

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