I know this looks like an image someone drew on a facebook wall, or something from MST3K, but believe it or not, this is a new Russian designed robotic suitcase, complete with infrared technology, light sensors and gyroscope. It uses a card that you keep on your person and follows you around like a puppy dog in love, or a Russian mobster you can’t shake…It can detect stairs and objects without bumping into them, won’t fall over, and if stolen without your card, emits an obnoxious alarm… and breaks kneecaps, dismembers assailants and scatters fingertips and teeth to the far corners of the world. My only question is at $2,000 bucks why can’t it make me a martini??…yowzas! I’d like to see it handle the 59th Street platform at rush hour, but my guess is if you can afford a $2,000 suitcase, you’re not taking the A train. It will be available in 2009, which gives me plenty of time to save up for it, because my $75 purple beauty has definitely seen better days.