Monthly Archives: May 2008

James Webb-Obama VP Candidate? (Ruh Roh)

Posted by mellissahughes on

I’ve watched it three times now….

4 minutes in, winning question “Bottomline: Do you now believe that women can in fact provide men with combat leadership…..”

DUDE. DOES. NOT. ANSWER. QUESTION. AT. ALL.

He quips out a knee-jerk “absolutely”, but then quickly says something quite different. I was left thinking that Webb is riding on the coattails of the progression that military has made, albeit slow and somewhat reluctant, though he himself was not a part of it. ….. my impression is that Webb 26 years ago, and even 11 years ago is just not capable of visualizing women in leadership roles.

And “getting into the Naval Academy is any horny woman’s dream”?????

How could you NOT think that would come back to bite you in the ass?

2 days, 2 victories!!

Posted by mellissahughes on

More in reproductive news! In addition to the 24 week victory in the UK, the Virginia Court of Appeals overturned the 2003 Partial Birth Infanticide Act. Although the 2003 law never went into effect, the April 2007 Supreme Court ruling has “trumped” more restrictive laws in Virginia and Michigan. (Still waiting for someone to go apeshit over that’s happening in Oklahoma.) In a sense, the victory is somewhat redundant, but it’s a victory nonetheless.

A lot of media attention on second trimester and late term abortions lately. After reading an interview with MP Nadine Dorries you’d think that clinics were chock full of women, bellies bulging, but no. In reading up about second trimester abortion procedures, I learned that only 10 percent occur AFTER 12 weeks, and something like 1.46% after 20 weeks.

So, what’s the big deal? A bill like this obviously wouldn’t effect the majority of the population, right? Why is this significant? because, despite those numbers being small, and although the difference between 24 weeks and 20, or even 22 is slight, it’s a very sneaky attempt to take control over womens bodies an inch at a time-but the predominating issue here is still control.

I also learned that the number one reason for second trimester abortions is when the woman’s health is in jeopardy, and read horror stories about women who’s spouses and partners turned violent later in the pregnancy. Unfortunately, stress in pregnancy sometimes manifests itself in physical violence. In 30% of domestic abusive relationships, the violence began during pregnancy. I also read one story of a woman who went ahead with an unplanned pregnancy, only to realize that her husband had been molesting her other two daughters. For some women, being forced to continue a pregnancy after an emotional ordeal like losing a spouse or another child is more trauma than they can bear.

The 24 week protest mainly focused on the lowering of the abortion week limit from 24 weeks to 20, but also on the bill was the requirement of a “father” figure for women wishing to undergo IVF. Single heterosexual women or lesbian families who WISH to bring a child into the world are being denied that right, while other women, who for their own reasons are not able to create a safe environment for a child are forced to. How is this NOT a case of government meddling with my body???

But hey, TWO HUGE victories in TWO DAYS. That’s amazing.

VA story here, UK story here.

Chick Rock

Posted by mellissahughes on

Things I am unashamed to admit:

1. I like George Michael and bad 80’s pop.
2. I prefer Sawyer and Kate to Jack and Kate.
3. Patrick Dempsey is a beautiful man.
4. I like jam bands – Dave Matthews, Phish included.
5. Ben Folds with or without the 5 is good shit.

Below, fellow ukelelist(??) Julie Nunes plays Gone, and harmonizes with herself. It’s fun, and cute, and she has a fantastic voice, and great charisma. Take a break and enjoy. She’s one of You Tubes highest subscribed musicians.

Baskin-Robbins Bump Day 2008

Posted by mellissahughes on

Today is Wednesday, otherwise known as hump day. In my nabe, the only way to beat the hump day blahs is to head over to Carvel, where you can enjoy a 2 for 1 sundae or cone or Carvelanche…. the only catch is that they have to be two of the same items, so if one person in your party wants a crazy mondo Butterfinger Oreo cookie extravaganza, and your mouth is watering for a plain vanilla soft serve cake cone (which haps to be my fav) you're SOL.

What's ironic is that I never even really liked ice cream until I got pregnant…. and now I pretty much need it three times a week, or I start twitching. My preg fav was B&J's Phish food with Barbeque chips crushed up inside, yummers.

 Anywhoo, not only is today hump day it's also Bump day!!! If you're preggers get yourself down to a Baskin-Robbins and get your free cone!! (Not entirely sure if they are requiring an EPT stick, or sonogram copy, but hey, why not put that puke-on-demand talent to work!!)


How’s your week been?

Posted by mellissahughes on

From the smarties at Drexel University comes this little post on sexual limitations the Church placed on marital relations. I guess we forget how lucky we are today that the Church will basically let you do ANYTHING as long as it’s with your spouse…. hell, I’ve even come across websites that advocate the use of porn, and even pegging!!! in Christian marriages. (Please click that link, I promise, it will not disappoint.)

Here: an excerpt on punishments from our Holy Catholic church in the Middle Ages…. The numbers correspond to the length of time you were to abstain from any sexual impurity. I challenge you: think about your own sexual activity this week, self-induced or whatnot, and see what your score is.

Dorsal sex (woman on top): three years
Lateral, seated, standing: 40 days
Coitus retro — rear entry: 40 days
Mutual masturbation: 30 days
Inter-femural sex — ejaculation between the legs: 40 days
Coitus in terga — anal sex: three years (with an adult); two years (with a boy); seven years (habitual); 10 years (with a cleric)

Theologians were divided on the punishment for coitus interruptus, the withdrawal method that frustrated procreation, arguing for a penance of between two and 10 years, while semenem in ore (semen in the mouth) could attract anywhere from three to 15 years. Pierre de La Padule added that sex during menstruation, sex in churches and sex preceded by kissing and fondling were almost as bad as the previously mentioned positions. Masturbation was so common that it only incurred a 10-day penalty for men and 30 days for monks, but women who used “erotic devices” did penance for one year.

I stopped counting when I had surpassed the 10 year mark…. In a way you could view this as the Middle Ages Abstinence Movement, and hey, what do you know?? The human race is somehow still here….Abstinence doesn’t work people.

Via The Smart Set

My first year in NYC

Posted by mellissahughes on


So, apparently, a year ago, I moved to the big city. A look back on some NYC firsts.

1. Ate my first Coney Island Nathan’s Dog.
2. Black bagged a beer for the subway.
3. Bitched out a parent at a Park Slope playground.
4. Verbally disrespected a NYPD officer.
5. Fell asleep on the F Train and woke up at Stillwell Ave.
6. Had a dude rub up on me on a crowded subway.
7. Had my karma shaken when someone genuinely wished me a nice day.
8. Had my karma shaken when a man peeled off a layer of his skin and offered it to me.
9. Had a dude masturbate within feet of me on the F Train.
10. Got my freak on, also on the F Train.
11. Witnessed my first subway fight.
12. Forgot and subsequently remembered what clean air smelled like.
13. Saw a subway tunnel on fire, and no one seemed to care.
14. Signed a petition for increased F Train service.

And since I’ve moved here:

15. Have not been directly affected by the price of gas per gallon, or ridonculous car insurance prices, nor have I sat in a drivers seat.
16. Can not fall asleep without the sound of loud Mexican music and garbage trucks
17. While home in my homestate: Gave the stank eye to a man who looked me in the eye, and smiled!! What an asshole!
18. Could map out the Subway System on a napkin if provided with 8 crayons (Jack would definitely help out,too.)
19. Have been obsessed with integration of all things Google. Coincidence?
20. Have stopped attending church, even when paid (NY is a godless city.)
21. Was labelled a NY’er (or the enemy) at a Mom & Pop coffee shop in NH.
22. Have become somewhat less idealistic, and definitely more cynical.
23. Can locate the nearest Starbucks location within half a block. Likewise, where the cheap bars are.
24. Could give two shits about fashion, unless I spend the day in Manhattan…. and then I just want to kill myself.
25. Have had my share of career uppers and downers.
26. Figured out (kind of) how to collaborate with a significant other.
27. Have never battled more with depression, addictions, poverty…. and have never felt more confident that I’m living/doing just what I’m supposed to be living/doing.

Are you fucking kidding me ?????

Posted by mellissahughes on

“Little girls pledge their submission to the phallocentric ideals of Christianity by promising their pussies to Jesus. Bonus points on the swords!” Creepy Slideshow here

Oy, virginity and abstinence and purity – hot topics indeed. Purity Balls are the newest Christian Conservative form of cultivating moral aspects in young girls. In a nut shell, daughters get all dolled up, and attend a ball with their Daddies. Dancing and frivolities ensue, and then after a speech, the little girls “give” their virginities to their Daddies for safekeeping, and promise to remain pure. Some lucky little ladies are even given ‘lock’ pendants on a chain. Daddies hold the key, until the hand it off with the husband…. (And how does that transaction transpire?? “Ok son, here’s the key to my daughter’s hymen. Enjoy her! She’s a real beauty. She kicks a bit in reverse, but just remember to rotate those tires and change her oil every 10,000 miles!”)

Creepiness aside, doesn’t this Daddy/Daughter thing just reinforce the uncomfortable rift between Daddy’s and Daughters?? (I felt far more comfortable talking to my Mom about that stuff than my Dad, and I know I’m not alone there.) But my main beef with the abstinence campaign, besides the cold hard FACT that it just isn’t working, is that the campaign fails to put the same responsibilities on young boys, and in this case the mothers. Where are the Mom’s here? Are we trying to reinforce this women as fragile flowers idea? How does giving Mom an active role in the moral shaping of her own children hurt them? Well, it would certainly shake the submissive image of the dutiful wife that the Christian Conservative movement wants to breed and uphold! Choice quotes and snarky retorts below:

“Fathers, our daughters are waiting for us,” Mr. Wilson, 49, told the men. “They are desperately waiting for us in a culture that lures them into the murky waters of exploitation. They need to be rescued by you, their dad.”

Ah, yes, the rescuing. Women are weak, and in need of rescuing, by men. Not by themselves, heavens no! Let’s not teach autonomy, or the strengths of making good choices for yourself, especially because we want to perpetuate Daddy issues:

“Something I need from dad is affirmation, being told I’m beautiful,” said Jordyn Wilson, 19, another daughter of Randy and Lisa. “If we don’t get it from home, we will go out to the culture and get it from them.”

Honey, if you need your Daddy to affirm your beauty, you’re already buying into it. Get yourself a hand mirror, and go to town.

The dancing continued past the ball’s official end at midnight. Mr. Wilson had to tell people to go home. The fathers took their flushed and sometimes sleepy girls toward the exit. But one father took his two young daughters for a walk around the hotel’s dark, glassy lake.

Ummm, ew? Journalistic cliffhanger. But back to the moral double standard. Purity Balls for sons? Nope. And if you think I’m just jumping on my oh so comfy soap box, a quick Google Reader search for abstinence education brought up these hits:

“Your body is a wrapped lollipop. When you have sex with a man, he unwraps your lollipop and sucks on it. It may feel great at the time, but, unfortunately, when he’s done with you, all you have left for your next partner is a poorly wrapped, saliva-fouled sucker.” Darren Washington at the 8th Abstinence Clearinghouse Conference.

Or this image:

“You are like a beautiful rose. Each time you engage in premarital sex, a precious petal is stripped away. Don’t leave your future husband holding a bare stem. Abstain.”

From the website- “Abstinence helps to ensure a more successful future, avoid STDs and to avoid possible life-long dependency on the welfare system.” And here I thought it was the lack of well-paid jobs that make women poor–turns out it’s just the absence of a hymen. (Does that mean if I get hymen restoration surgery that my income will magically increase? Sweet!)

This one could be my favorite:

The thought of a diamond in my vag makes me laugh. If I had known my hymen was a diamond I would have made a kick ass floating necklace years ago.

Joking aside, abstinence does NOTHING to promote self-worth in a young girl. It reinforces the idea that the only intrinsic value a girl has, lies hidden between her legs, and when that is gone they are nothing but a “useless stem”, or a “saliva fouled sucker”. Not only is it misogynist, but it oppresses sexuality. All that emphasis on virginity and purity being EVERYTHING is very hard to recover from if you “stumble” with your promise, or if you are the victim of a rape or incest.

And as the oppositional defiant child I was/am, I would like to state that while I have unpure thoughts, I have my fair share of purely sexual thoughts as well. Sometimes they involve Patrick Dempsey. JK.

Via NY Times